And yet I’m still not a great fan of dating – especially “recreational” dating (). Our young people aren’t too enthusiastic about either of these options. And that’s when we discovered the concept of and I thought all our problems were solved. So just for the record – while there are many benefits to courtship – it does not answer all the questions. Humans have a natural tendency toward negativity, while allowing positive moments to fly over their heads. Talking too much on a first date is the most common complaint I hear. If you had a good time, text her that night and let her know. There is nothing more disrespectful than looking around the room while your date is trying to talk with you. You don’t want to force-feed your date a topic you’re passionate about, if they lack attentiveness. Normally, I tell clients to steer clear of formers, religion, and politics on first-date talk. I had a client who went through the trouble of pre-date googling, then boasting about all of her self-informed knowledge to her date. Again, give your date your undivided attention and respect. You want to have a clear head to decipher your feelings, and you want to be able to remember your conversation. Being overly ostentatious can intimidate, and leave your date feeling uneasy. There is nothing that shuts down a connection faster than bashing an ex-boyfriend, or talking about how frustrating your dating life has been. Health Take your health more seriously, as it impacts all other areas of your life.5.For example, it’s more likely that at any given moment, someone is fretting over things unaccomplished, rather than appreciating his or her achievements. When we sit down with our date, we start picking them apart in our heads––clothes, voice, facial expressions, mannerisms––rather than appreciating the opportunity to share time with someone new. It’s normally due to nervous chatter, or because they want to overshare in an effort to impress their date. When I send clients out for lunch, dinner, or a drink, I inform them that checks are brought separately. Finding common ground will put both parties at ease, and allow the conversation to flow more naturally. However, if the two of you have found common ground through one of these topics, it’s OK, as long as the conversation is kept positive. Not only did it knock her into stalker status, she appeared foolishly proud for bragging about something so simple as a quick Google search. Don’t “coincidentally” bump into a friend so your pal can scope out your date. If you do coincidentally see some of your friends, don’t leave your date to go chat it up for twenty minutes. Taking too long in the restroom, for example, can be a red flag that you are calling a friend to scoop out the details of your date. Furthermore, getting sloppy on a date is never attractive. Respect The respect you receive from yourself is proportional to the respect and admiration you receive from others.In the best case, it’s an exchange of witty one-liners and fascinating reveals that create a slow build of anticipation to chatting on the phone and finally meeting.In the worst, it’s a painful and seemingly […] Read more The term “hard to get” needs no explanation. Most people are acquainted with these humdrum nuggets of advice.
No matter if you love or hate texting, it’s hard to escape the “texting phase” in a budding relationship. Then we had our own 8 children and before we knew it – the subject of girls, boys, love, and marriage came up. While it’s tempting to try and tuck love into some tidy box, it will never work like that. Rather than depending on someone else’s “step-by-step”, listen to the Spirit and how He is guiding. The world wants you to think that your happiness depends on finding the perfect guy – or girl. If you are a believer in Christ, then your joy is found in Him. Read the classic love stories found there, follow the instruction of the New Testament, and don’t forget the wisdom found in the book of Proverbs. As it turned out, a few months later I reluctantly agreed to go on a “blind date” and knew immediately that I’d met the man I would marry. So that’s as close as I could come to “marrying without dating”. True love can be amazing, but it really doesn’t “fix” everything. Even the Bible talks about “the way of a man with a maid” as too wonderful to understand (Prov. Observe them in different contexts – work, home, leisure – and ask others what they see too. Of course, the advice is even more relevant […] Read more The genesis of this article came from my watching the recent Casey Anthony three-episode special on television (HLN), in which Ms.John Gray is the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.