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    Many women dream about their wedding days as little girls. I'm not against romance or settling down, but just as love is an entirely biased experience, so is our approach to it and the way in which we interpret it.


    Teenage dating when

    Try to be open to discussing it, rather than lecturing them.

    You want them to listen to your opinion, yet at the same time feel they are making up their own mind.

    Compared to teens who spend less than 10 hours a week with a girlfriend or boyfriend, these teens are two and a half times more likely to drink, five times more likely to get drunk, four and a half times more likely to try marijuana and two and a half times more likely to smoke.

    The study also revealed that girls who date boys two or more years older than them are more likely to drink alcohol, try marijuana and smoke.

    Dating is a time of social experimentation for teens.

    It’s a time to test out which type of partners appeal to them, and how they can negotiate a romantic relationship.

    I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.

    ( And yes, we've been addressing the low esteem for years.)She has no experience with dating. I say I could get behind that better if he would stop commenting on her physical beauty and if she would stop gushing. When she saw him I kept my cell phone on and when they were alone for the first time and he was pressuring her for sex, she called me and I picked her up immediately. I think it's a matter of what you are comfortable with and what she wants too.

    Encourage them to come to you with any question or conflict.Learn the potential problems facing teenagers who date.If a teen dating problem seems too difficult to manage on your own, ask a family therapist for advice.But it can also be a confusing time and a difficult time for parents too. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital, has some advice. Your relationship with your partner is a model for how your teen will behave with others. Being manipulated, verbally put down, pushed or slapped and kept isolated from other relationships are all signs of an abusive relationship. Tell them they need to be honest and clear in communications. Make them think seriously about what sexual intimacy really means to them.Teen dating can be a wonderful and fun time where self confidence is built up, and dating techniques are learned. Attorney General reports that 38 percent of date rape victims are girls between the age of 14 and 17. Teach them how to date, how to have respect for one another and how to protect themselves from emotional and physical hurt. Your relationship for your child speaks far louder than anyone’s words. Help them pay attention to the voice inside that says, “I’m uncomfortable in this situation and don’t want to do this.” Teach them to trust their judgment. Tell your sons that having sex does not make them a man and tell your daughters that having sex does not make them cool. Make sure both your son and daughter understand that, and that they should come to you or another parent/teacher/counselor if they feel at all threatened or oppressed by their boyfriend or girlfriend. “I’m not sure…” from a girl can mean “I just need to be pushed or pressured some more before I say yes” to her date. Tell boys if they hear “No” then proceeding anyway is rape. Tell boys they are not expected to try a million different ways to get sex.

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